27 March 2025

 


The European Union has released guidelines advising everyone in Europe to stock up on at least 72 hours worth of food and water, in case of "emergencies". The immediate "emergency" at hand is the possibility of war now that it has become so abundantly clear that Trump has bowed down completely to his master, Putin, and that the US, far from being any part of our defense, is just another enemy with which to contend.

How 72 hours worth of supplies will help should World War III break out is unclear to me. It is also unclear to me how we would manage to pack 72 hours worth of artichokes and lemons for transport to wherever it is that we would be evacuated to. Jonathan and I talked about it and came to the conclusion that the only hope for us would be here in this community and that, should war come, our job would be to help as best we can to care for our friends who are even more elderly than we are. All we have is each other.

26 March 2025

 


The sea is milk blue tonight. A storm is moving in. But for the moment, the air is perfectly still and it is perfectly quiet. Even the birds, who have been so joyous lately, are silent so that the only sound at all is, very faintly, the shushing sound of the sea breaking on the coast. Every night now, in these fading days of winter, the sunset bleeds into the sky and the sea and breaks our hearts and I think to myself, "Never! Never has there been a more beautiful sunset!" And every night it's the same, but different. And Jonathan and I call out to each other, "Look at the sky! Look at the sky!"

The mountainside here is covered in blooming flowers. Not to be outdone, the wet books in our house from the flood in the cantina have also opened like blossoms in the spring.

16 March 2025

 


We've been having a week here in lovely Capriglia-by-the-Sea. On Monday, we realized that we put my birthdate on the formal citizenship request in the place where Jonathan's should have gone. You already know about that. On Tuesday, the doctor told Jonathan that the strange lump under his arm is probably not cancerous, but that it should nevertheless be biopsied. On Wednesday, in the middle of the pouring rain, I went into the cantina and discovered that the floor was a centimeter deep in water. Sitting on the floor, soaking it all in, were multiple boxes of our books. Now, the books are all over the house, opening up like crinkled flowers as they dry out. On Thursday, I got seven mosquito bites on my right thigh and one on my left. These are the Southern Tiger Mosquitos -- brought north by climate change -- that leave big red welts that itch like fire for days and days.

On Friday, we found out that on the day almost a year ago when we sat in our attorney's office and I said, "Don't I need my criminal record from every state where I've lived?" and she said, "Oh, no -- only the FBI federal one." and I said, "Well, how nice! Tra-la-la-Tra-la-la-Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum," we were very much mistaken. I am now in the process of trying to figure out how to get a money order for US$7 to the Metropolitan Police Department in Washington, DC, and -- even more fun -- how to get the lovely Apostilles from all the states where I've lived. And of course, all week long, the political horrors coming out of the US continue to be godawful. I now personally know five people who have either already lost their jobs because of these monsters or are on the verge of losing them.

On Saturday, nothing too disastrous happened here at the house, although the cantina continues to be a flood zone (but we have moved all of our boxes out of there and they are -- once again -- piled all around the living room.) Jonathan and I went to the big Esselunga HyperMarket at Lido di Camaiore and bought a bunch of adorable mini-lemons and brought them home and candied them. We then invented a new dessert called Exploded Cannoli.

I don't want to seem immodest, but we are geniuses.

10 March 2025

Today, I officially filed the final paperwork to request Italian citizenship. Four minutes after submitting it, I realized that there was a mistake on it and my birthday was listed in the place where Jonathan's should have gone.

Our lawyer is going to call the Questura in Lucca tomorrow and see if she can correct it that way. In the meantime, we are holding off on the champagne.

The kids in Capriglia hang out in the evenings at the Bellevedere -- a low stone wall at the edge of town with a sweeping view of the coast below us and the sea beyond that. Sometimes, they write messages to each other on the wall itself -- graffiti of love and longing and heartbreak and bitterness. For many months, we followed the notes documenting the on-again-off-again relationship between Fabio and Laura. It was tempestuous.

But now someone has taken the the messaging to the next level and actually spray-painted the street: "La nostra storia che non finisce mai di finire." -- "Our story that never ends." I feel that this also beautifully expresses the essence of my story with the bureaucratic machinery of the Italian government.

09 March 2025


 "Emigrating from the U.S. -- 17 Tips, Facts, & FAQS", the latest episode of our podcast, is up now. You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRbhcuEPhFU

07 March 2025

 


I have started writing a new book. It's called The Farmhouse and The Sea: A Thousand Days in Tuscany. Here is the rough draft of the Preface:

PREFACE

            I dropped out of college after my sophomore year. There was no particular crisis – no single thing I can point my finger at – to explain why. But I had a boyfriend and, even though we didn’t love or even really like each other very much by that point, we were both in love with the idea of escape – of getting out, going away, setting off on an adventure into the unknown, of flight.

            So at the end of the school year, we got a cheap flight from Boston to Rome and in Rome we boarded a train going north towards Florence, believing somehow that those ancient stone streets and bell towers and Renaissance domes could save us.

            But on the train we were taken up by two older and wiser people – Canadian ex-pats who heard us speaking English to each other and took pity on us – who said, “If you want to live cheaply among Tuscan beauty, with old stone houses and olive groves and red poppies blooming in summer fields, you don’t want to try to live in Florence with no money, where you will end up stuck in some Mussolini-modern apartment block in an anonymous suburb. You want to go to a town called San Rocco. And this train stops there.”

            So when the train stopped at San Rocco, we got off and then wandered into a bar across the road from the train station.

            This was many years ago, in the days before cell phones or the internet or the idea that you needed to know what you were doing before you did it.

            The bar was called Bar Salvatore. There was a corkboard on the wall with community notices and so we tacked up a little note (written in English because it was also the days before language apps) saying that we were looking for a house to rent.

            Then a nice young woman in the bar took more pity on us and took us home with her for the night because, not having known that morning that we would be in San Rocco that evening, we had no place to stay. This was in the days when you could go home with a stranger from a bar without worry or fear.

            The next day, on the cork board in the bar, there was a note for us, also in English, saying that a man named Michele had a house available to rent up in the hills, in a village called Trespolo dei Merli, and that he would pick us up from Bar Salvatore that afternoon at 3:00 to take us there in his car.

            That is how I first came to know Trespolo, up in the Tuscan hills, and San Rocco, the town below it. After a while, the so-called boyfriend left, but I stayed on, living in Michele’s tiny house with its red-tiled roof and marble kitchen sink and fig tree growing just outside the front door. Because the hills come straight up out of the sea the on the western edge of Tuscany, I had a sweeping view of the Mediterranean from my back door and, on clear days, of the sprinkling of islands off shore.

            Only a few hundred people lived in Trespolo in those days and they were far outnumbered by the goats that most people kept a small herd of, which wandered freely among the olive groves that terraced the hillside down to San Rocco. Taking the path down to town, among the poppies and the lavender and the wild garlic, I would sometimes come across a congregation of goats placidly bleating while a shepherd dog tried to nudge them to the side of the path.

            I lived there for a year before I ran out of money (my rent for Michele’s little house was the equivalent of only 35 American dollars a month and I could eat well and cheaply and drink the rough new wine with the old men in the Bar Salvatore for the equivalent of pennies). So after a year, I went back to the US and dropped back into college and generally tried to behave myself and lead a responsible and productive life going forward.

            I became, eventually, a professor at a little college in Colorado; I owned a house; I had children and a husband and a dog and a Subaru. In spite of the Subaru and the faculty meetings, it was a good life and I was mostly very happy in it. But time gallops forward in such a headlong rush. The children grew up and moved away, making their own lives. Our dog got very old and peacefully passed away one winter day. And my husband Jonathan and I, with our gray hairs and thickening waistlines, began to grow restless with our jobs and with endlessly shoveling the icy sidewalk in front of our house and with the tragic state of American politics and we began to look at each other and say, “What if we went away? Before it’s too late, what if we went away and made a new life together one more time?”

            It was a crazy idea, of course – rash and romantic. Only fools or simpletons would behave in such a reckless manner. This is the story of how we did it.


06 March 2025


My apostille is enjoying a leisurely transcontinental journey on its way to becoming (knock wood) the final document in my immigration folder. The DHL "overnight" service from here to Washington lasted a week and took in visits to New York City, Cincinnati, and Baltimore along the way before finally landing in Washington. My fabulous brother then took it to the US State Department where we learned that "5 to 7 business days" means "2 weeks," which was close enough for government work, I guess. Then we waited tensely for two weeks to see if the dipshit in the White House would completely destroy the US government in the next, apparently, 5 to 7 business days. 

But Mango Mussolini didn't completely ruin everything (yet) and so my brother went back to the State Department last Tuesday, retrieved the document and sent it (FedEx this time) directly to the translator in Lucca, who is on high alert for it. So far on its return journey, it has enjoyed trips to Memphis TN and Paris, France ("Package in Paris. I'm a little jealous," my brother texts). But it is now in Bologna*, where we ourselves could drive to get it if necessary. It is supposed to be delivered today (Thursday) and the translator has promised that if it arrives no later than tomorrow, she will translate it right away and take it to the judge to swear to its authenticity on Monday. Jonathan and I will then drive to Lucca to get it from her and take it immediately straight to our attorney with a cool 24 hours to spare to get it into the electronic system (which, let us remember, was completely down with a technical glitch the first time we tried to get into it.) Fingers crossed!

In the meantime, spring has burst out with all jubilation here in lovely Capriglia-by-the-Sea. On Tuesday, the actual Mardi Gras, after several weeks of celebrating Carnevale, we went for a big final tordelli lunch at the pub. We waited out in the sunshine on the terrace for it to start, all of us chatting together of this and that, spread out among the tables and chairs like song birds in the branches of a tree. Ugo had shaved off half of his beard as a joke for Renata and there was some talk of getting every man in the village to follow suit, but (unlike Ugo) the rest of them (including Jonathan) are big wusses when it comes to their facial hair.


*The GPS on our Italian phones inexplicably speaks American and pronounces Bologna as "Baloney." Sometimes when we're going to Viareggio, we go a bit out of our way just to hear the GPS tell us to "turn left on Via Baloney." We think this is hysterical. We are a simple people.

02 March 2025


The wild boar has continued his nightly rampages in our olive grove. Various illegal solutions have been proposed by our friends at the pub who assure us that we can bribe the police to look the other way. The bribe is wild boar meat.

Apropos of that, we were invited to a hog slaughtering (which was absolutely meant as an act of kindness and inclusion, although it may not seem that way at first glance.) At least, we think we were invited to a hog slaughtering. Our translation skills can still be sometimes rather shaky in new situations with new vocabulary. We are often unsure if what we think we heard is at all what was intended. When we first arrived in Italy, for example, I thought that I was being invited to a lesbian orgy, but it turned out to be a breast self-exam clinic. In my defense, the pictures on the invitation were ambiguous.

The lovely Renata is back for a very brief visit. We saw her last night and will see her tonight again at the Sunday night Giro di Pizza at the pub. Because of her, everyone smiles and laughs a lot more. It is like a piece of early spring sunshine has arrived.